


C Is For Cookie Clicker

by donutsweeper



Category: Cookie Clicker, Sesame Street (TV)
Genre: Crossover, Gen, Yuletide Treat, no one's childhood is ruined here, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-03
Updated: 2013-11-03
Packaged: 2017-12-31 07:52:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1029157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donutsweeper/pseuds/donutsweeper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cookie Monster discovers Cookie Clicker.  Things go about as well as you'd expect them to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	C Is For Cookie Clicker

**Author's Note:**

  * For [storm_queen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/storm_queen/gifts).



> A Yuletide treat for storm_queen, because how I could I _not_ fill this request? 
> 
> Betaed by the wonderful lannamichaels.

Maria saw Cookie Monster sitting in front of the computer, carefully typing away and went over to greet him.

"W. W. W." He was a slow typer, hitting the keys one by one, saying each letter out loud as he struck it.

"O. R. T. E. I. L. Dot."

"What are you doing, Cookie Monster?" she asked.

"D. A. S. H. N. E. T." He looked up briefly. "Me typing. Dot. O. R. G."

She laughed. "Yes, I can see that. What are you typing?"

"Big Bird told me about a cookie game on the internet." He waved the piece of piece of paper he clutched in his free hand as he continued to type with the other one. "Backslash. Dot. C. O. O. K. I. E. Yummm, cookies."

"A cookie game?" she asked him.

"Yep. C. L. I. C. K. E. R. Enter. OOOOH. Cookie." He reached over and moved the mouse. He clicked. "Achievement unlocked. Wake and bake," he read. "Look, Maria, I made a cookie!"

She looked over his shoulder. He had loaded a game called _Cookie Clicker_ and, had indeed created a cookie according to the information on the screen. "Good job, Cookie Monster!"

"But nothing else is happening." He scratched his head. "Why is nothing else happening?"

"Try clicking it again," she suggested. 

"Good idea." He clicked again. "Two cookies! But, but now it says, 'You feel like making your cookies. But nobody wants to eat my cookies.' Why would people no want to eat me cookies?"

"I don't know, Cookie Monster. Why don't you see what happens if you keep clicking?"

"Okay, okay, I will try that." He clicked again. "Another cookie!" Cookie Monster kept clicking quickly. "Five cookies! Look at this, me making cookies!" He clicked several more times. "Wait, now it says 'Your first batch goes to the trash. The neighborhood racoon barely touches it.' Why, why would it go in the trash? Me would never throw out cookies! Never!"

"I'm sure it's just part of the game, Cookie Monster. Look, that cursor button lit up." She pointed to the spot in the store where he could purchase a cursor. "Maybe you could try clicking that?"

"Good idea," he said as he clicked on it. "NO!! Me cookies!" he shouted as the number of cookies he'd created went down. "Me beautiful cooookies." He banged his head against the table.

"No, no, it's okay. Cookie Monster, look, you bought a cursor and now it is creating cookies for you. According to what it says here," she pointed to show him, "it's making 0.1 cookies per second, all on its own."

"Oh! Oh, yes, me see. It is making more cookies. But not fast enough, me keep clicking to help it." He clicked again and again, and the number of cookies created continued to climb. 

"There you go. See?" Maria said as Cookie Monster continued clicking. "You're up to eighteen already. And you can buy another cursor if you want."

"Hmmm...." Cookie Monster stopped and considered her suggestion. "The cursor costs more now."

"That is true. Maybe it figures since you have one cursor already helping that you'll get cookies faster?"

"Maybe," he said as he went back to clicking, but he sounded very doubtful. "Oh! A new message, 'Your family accepts to try some of your cookies.' But, of course they try me cookies. It is cookies. Me no understand."

"Of course they would. It's just part of the game, Cookie Monster," she assured him. "Just like how in real life you wouldn't have thrown out your first batch of cookies and, even if you did, if there were raccoons in Sesame Street they would have eaten them."

"Ah, yes. Me understand now. People in the game are very silly." He clicked some more. 

"That's right, they are."

"Look, Maria, another achievement! 'Making some dough'! Me love cookie dough." He clicked some more. "And now me cookies are very popular in the neighborhood." He puffed up just a little bit at that announcement. "And now me have one hundred cookies!"

"Look, Cookie Monster, it unlocked something else in the store. With a hundred cookies you can buy a grandma," Maria pointed out.

"Buy a grandma? But, me already _have_ a grandma. And," he added in a whisper, "Me think buying grandmas might not be something that is right for a monster to do."

"If you were to actually try to go out and buy a grandma you might be right," Maria admitted. "However, in an online game like this one, it might be okay. If you wanted to buy one, that is. You don't have to."

Cookie Monster moved the mouse so the cursor hovered over the Grandma. "Grandma," he read, "Owned: zero. A nice grandma to bake more cookies." But instead of clicking on the grandma he went back to clicking on the cookie. "That may be a nice grandma, but me no want to own a grandma. Me think clicking for cookies is better."

"I can understand that, Cookie Monster. Besides, if clicking isn't fast enough for you it looks like can buy more cursors if you want to."

Cookie Monster nodded and kept clicking and clicking, faster and faster. "Look, Maria! Five hundred cookies! And now it says people are starting to talk about me cookies!"

"Good job, Cookie Monster!" Maria patted Cookie Monster on the shoulder. "That's a lot of cookies! And look, now you can buy a farm. I guess the farm will make more cookies for you? Somehow?"

"But that costs a lot of cookies. Me not want to spend that many cookies on a farm."

"Well, that's entirely up to you, Cookie Monster. It's your game, you play it how you want."

Cookie Monster clicked for a little while longer before he turned to Maria and said, "Maria, me think me done clicking cookies for today."

"That's fine, Cookie Monster, you can just save the game and come back to it tomorrow."

"Save the game?" Cookie Monster asked. "But me want me cookies now."

"I don't understand."

"Me make 637 cookies. Me want 637 cookies."

"Oh, Cookie Monster, no, it doesn't work like that. Yes, you made 637 cookies, but that's in your game. They're not real cookies."

"Not real cookies?"

"No, they're just in the game." She pointed to the cookie counter as the cursor clicked on the cookie and the number went up to 638. "See? You just created another cookie in the game."

"Wait, wait, wait. So all these cookies me have been making, me can eat _none_ of them?" Cookie Monster stared at Maria.

"That's right, Cookie Monster, the cookies are only in your game." When she realized he was still staring at her she added, pointing to the screen, "Cookieclicker. They're just in there. In your computer."

"Oh," he said. Then his eyes grew wide. " _Oh!_ Me know what to do then!" Reaching out with both hands he grabbed the computer and shoved it in his mouth and began chomping down on it, shouting, "COOKIES! Om nom nom nom nom."


End file.
